Don't be a douche

Men 35 and under, who wear golf shirts, shorts and dress shoes, and drive late model STS's risk being called douchebags....

So I'm at Home Depot this morning buying railroad ties for a back-yard project. I swing my truck around to the lumber loading area for access to the tie stack only to find a new looking Cadillac STS parked directly in front of the ties. It's not a parking place, it's for loading lumber but, I assume it's an old man who probably needs help loading something in his trunk so it's no big deal. I maneuver my truck as close as I can while leaving enough room to load the ties without damaging his car. I get 4 of them loaded(each tie weighs 200lbs so it's no small task to lift and place them in the bed of a truck by myself) when out walks the owner of the Caddy carrying a small bag which looked like it might contain a can of bug spray....he looks almost exactly like the guy in this picture only his Polo shirt-tail was out, no man-bag, he was probably 35, and his shoes were honest to goodness penny loafers, not moccasins. I'm standing there filthy, sweaty, covered in creosote residue and he looks at me, then at his car and realized the trouble he's caused me.

"Looks like hard work", he remarks. I just stared at him like....no kidding!
"I'd help you load those but I'm headed to lunch and I'd get dirty", he claims while observing my soiled shirt.
"No sweat, man, I got this", was all I could think of to say.

The guy clearly knew what he had done because he acted almost apologetic. And that would have been OK if I thought he learned something. It would have been worth the inconvenience to rid the world of one more douchebag but, I'm kidding myself. I imagine this douche drove his dumb but hot trophy wife to the country club with their two preppy Nordic children and got a good laugh at that dirty guy at Home Depot who couldn't get to the railroad ties, because he didn't want his black STS to get hot in the sun.

I swear these relatively young men who drive Mercedes Benz or Cadillacs think that because they spent a fortune on a trophy car, they are somehow privileged, and can park anywhere they like. You see them blocking the front door of supermarkets. You see them hogging two spaces in a crowded parking deck. In essence, they don't care if they park illegally or inconvenience us little, poor people. They figure they've earned the right to park where ever they feel like it, by spending a lot on their car.

Unless you are retired and/or over 65, don't drive a Cadillac...and under no circumstances act like a douchebag with it.