You can't make this stuff up folks...
Kenyan officials are not sure how to handle a troop of rude monkeys that's been making lewd gestures at women, London's Daily Telegraph reports.
"Can the [tourism] minister deploy game rangers ... to deal with the monkey menace?" pleaded local representative Paul Muite in Kenya's national parliament last month, to accompanying laughter. "These creatures have clearly shown that they have no respect for women."
Gichuki Kabukuru of the Kenya Wildlife Service told the Telegraph that monkeys and baboons commonly harass women, gesturing at them and touching their own private parts.
"Even in our camps," he explained, "when men are out on patrol and the monkeys see women and children, they will become very naughty and make lewd signs at them."
Are we sure the monkeys aren't building something?
C'mon, construction workers don't have respect for women, do they really expect male animals to? If you're a girl, you can walk past any construction site and get exactly the same treatment from male humans. It's just what construction workers, and apparently monkeys, do. And let's be honest, if you don't get whistled at or hear a cat-call or two at a construction site, you're offended that they didn't notice you. I know you ladies feign outrage and act insulted but secretly you like the attention, even if it's from monkeys. After all, is there really that much difference?
"Ed, you're a loathsome chauvinist!" Relax honey, I've heard it.
"Ed, you're a neanderthal pig!" Relax honey, I've heard it.
"Ed, you're a detestable sexist!" Relax honey, I've heard it.
"Ed, you're a sleazeball misogynist!" Now I resent that. I am not a misogynist.