“The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of ‘liberalism’ they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.”

Socialist Party presidential candidate Norman Thomas

Monday, July 11, 2011

Tiger's big announcement

Tiger Woods is set to have a surprise press conference today at 11 AM ET. There is much speculation as to what it is, everything from retirement to he's taking a year off to have surgery to an explanation regarding his relationship with that trainer who got busted with performance enhancing drugs.

But here are a few alternative announcements that we might hear:

-Tiger's taking his talents to South Beach
-He'll start playing basketball for the Miami Heat because he wants Lebron to finally get a ring
-He's announcing that he's been gay all along and all the women were just cover
-He's taking some time off to help Casey Anthony find the real killer

Feel free to add your own predictions in the comments thread.

UPDATE: OK, here's the 411 on Tiger's big announcement. It was a press release by one of his people saying that Tiger and his agent Mark Steinberg were taking their talents to Excel Sports Management.......so frickin' what? He'd better start winning again or ESM won't want him hanging around A-listers like Derek Jeter and Ryan Howard.


Anonymous said...

A)Tiger will announce that he will concentrate on golf in Asia where there is more room for growth than in the U.S. Smart move, they don't care about his infidelity.
B) Tiger has not tested the Asian market for his addiction.

Bill said...

Well, what was it?

Ed said...

I haven't been able to find it. I scoured ESPN all day yesterday while I was home sick, and nothing. Not even a mention. I guess MSN's homepage got some bad info or something. I'll post it as soon as it happens....I mean if it's ridicule worthy.