Friday, March 12, 2010
Some people need to be institutionalized
If your bodhisattva suggests that you consume the secretions of a mollusk as part of a religious healing ceremony, and you have to think about your answer, perhaps you should check yourself in to one of America's many psychiatric hospitals....
MIAMI — Devotees of a man claiming to practice a traditional African religion said they had to ingest the mucus of a Giant African Snail that sickened them. Federal authorities in January raided the Miami man's home after receiving complaints.
Experts said it devastates new ecosystems. The snail grows up to 10 inches long, can reproduce on its own and even can even eat plaster.
Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.
I'm betting the strange lumps are either tumors or gestational snail eggs. The neonatal slugs will feed on the stomach lining of their human host until maturity, finally gnawing their way through the host's chest wall.
Pro tip: next time, just go to the Methodist church.