phone use at red lights portends the breakdown of civilized society

In the dozen or so years that I've been moonlighting in traffic engineering, I've noticed a disturbing recent trend.

At signals with enough green time that at least 10-12 cars should make it through the light, say a left turn signal, these days only 6-7 make it through. Do you know why? Let me clue you in.......

Because at red light stops, virtually everybody driving cars immediately jams their fat noses against the faces of their stupid cell phones and forgets they're waiting for a signal to change. The front cars rarely move for a full 3 seconds after the light changes to green, and only then when other cars start honking horns. I've observed, studied, and recorded rush-hour intersections by the hundreds and I see it all the time.

The scientifically orchestrated dynamics of traffic movements as functions of signal timing are breaking down and it is a microcosm of the general breakdown of civil society as we cease existing in the present here and now, and willfully occupy instead a practically imaginary virtual reality in our phones.

If you're one of those self-involved morons whose locus of identity resides externally in a 24/7 connection to your stupid friends, to the point that you can't resist texting them at every red light you come to, cut it out!!! When the light turns green, be ready to drive.