Parties for infants are ridiculous

I just drove through my neighborhood and it irritated me to have to navigate a gauntlet of cars carelessly parked on both sides of the street because a family with what I know to be a one year old kid, was throwing it a birthday party.

Here are the current popular occasions for throwing a kid a party:

[the "we're pregnant" conception party]
[the baby shower[
[the big reveal party] where they find out the gender
[the "we had a baby and you didn't" first-week-home party]
[the 1st birthday party]

Look, it's not that hard to get knocked up, pretty much everybody does it sooner or later on purpose or by mistake.Throwing this many parties for a fetus is tranparently about drawing as much attention to yourself as you can and imposing on your resentful, childless friends to give you lots of gifts......OR, compelling the ones to whom you previously had to give multiple gifts, to return the obligatory gesture.

I'm going out on a limb and betting that in 1962-3, my mom didn't make a fuss about any of those gestational non-events, even my 1st BD. Why would she? She had a life outside of mothering me and I sure didn't know the difference.

I said all that to say this, if you couldn't think of a lie fast enough and have to attend one of these kid parties that make you want to stab yourself in the neck with a pencil because interacting with the trauma team at the ER would be more interesting than chatting with other parents about their kids' latest speech milestone or funny thing they did, at least park as close to the grass on the curb as you can so the rest of us can get by. Additionally, no emergency vehicles I've seen are narrow enough to squeeze between the rows of cars the way they were parked.

Here's to kids' parties, poorly anchored bounce houses, and windy days.
Heh heh.....weeeeeeee!!!