The Girl Next Door

Well the extremely rich girl from next door has finally done it and landed in jail. This young tart has managed to provoke even the most liberal set of judicial minds into putting her into her place. Paris has finally painted herself into a corner.
Lets examine her career path.

Since she is an heir to an extremely large financial war chest, and has been living on a trust since, well she probably has always lived from a trust. She probably has made her daddy really proud in the last few years. First there was Paris and Nicky frolicking all over the world. Then we have the proverbial "sex-tape" episode (don't you know her dad loved seeing her oral renderings on the Internet). What a tramp! Then she hooks up with this rich Greek guy named Paris and we are shown pictures of them wandering through life with drink in hand at all the greatest getaway spots. Lately, however, she has been on a real roll. Run-ins with the law, the no-panties freedom movement she founded with Britney, and now the heinous crime committed that landed her in jail. She can't drive or park a car. How simple is that. She gets to jail, pouts 'cause the food isn't from some trendy health food joint, and is let go. Unfortunately she can't stay away from trouble and is sent back kicking and screaming to serve her 45 day sentence in the pokey.

Put this spoiled little brat in the real population. Don't force other prisoners to re-bunk in order to make room for Paris-the video sex machine. (I'll bet there are some fun ideas roaming around the prison population right now.) Give her a taste of what her "Real Life" will be if she doesn't straighten up. She will, and will go back to the land of the Platinum-Spoon-in-Mouth Club, and live happily ever after - at least until her next raunchy video is released. Poor Paris- kinda feel sorry for her - don't cha.