“The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of ‘liberalism’ they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.”

Socialist Party presidential candidate Norman Thomas


Sunday, November 08, 2009

Stupidest invention...ever!


How miserably unpopular do you have to be in elementary school, that you don't have even one friend in whom you have enough trust to share a see-saw? This stupid contraption, a see-saw for one, actually received a patent. Here's the justification....

"A seesaw plank can be a dangerous object in the hands of a mischievous child who may abruptly pull down on one end when another child is passing by the opposite end, causing the opposite end to rise quickly and potentially striking the passing child."

"Because the seesaw operates on the principle of counterbalancing weights, injury can result if a rider suddenly falls or jumps off the seesaw while the opposing rider is high in the air, particularly if one rider is substantially heavier than the other. In this scenario, the opposing rider is sent crashing to the ground and the sudden impact may jar a child's joints or cause spine or tailbone injuries."

These are garden-variety, play-ground lessons that we all had to learn. Playground see-saws are one of the primary ways of sorting out at age 7, who of your playmates are trustworthy and who are dicks. As a teen, would you trust the kid who used to jump off the see-saw not to hit on your girlfriend when you're not around? Of course not because, you learned what kind of character he had way back in 2nd grade. Likewise, a successful see-saw ride establishes a bond of trust between two people.

Take-away life lesson: Kids who can be trusted on a see-saw at age 7, can be trusted with your girlfriend at 16.

1 comment:

Joe Camel said...

Where are the racial implications in this argument? They must be there, and some idiot must be suing some school board over his child getting left High and Dry on the See Saw!!