“The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of ‘liberalism’ they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.”

Socialist Party presidential candidate Norman Thomas

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Tiger update

If you use golf clubs to make your living, you probably shouldn't make your wife mad at 2:25 in the morning....

Tiger Woods was injured early Friday when he lost control of his SUV outside his Florida mansion, and a local police chief said Woods' wife used a golf club to smash out the back window to help get him out.

The world's No. 1 golfer was treated and released from a hospital in good condition, his spokesman said. The Florida Highway Patrol said Woods' vehicle hit a fire hydrant and a tree in his neighbor's yard after he pulled out of his driveway at 2:25 a.m.

Windermere police chief Daniel Saylor told The Associated Press that officers found the 33-year-old PGA star laying in the street with his wife, Elin, hovering over him.

She told officers she was in the house when she heard the accident and "came out and broke the back window with a golf club," he said. "She supposedly got him out and laid him on the ground. He was in and out of consciousness when my guys got there."

I know it probably didn't go down this way but upon first glance you have to ask yourself, why Elin ran to Tiger's aid with a golf club in her hand? It would appear more likely that she was chasing him with the golf club and he crashed the SUV fleeing her. Then when he crawled half conscious out of the car, she whacked him once in the mouth with his own driver.....ouch, the irony!

Sunday Update: It would appear that I was mostly correct. Elin was mad about the rumor of Tiger's affairs and scratched his face in a fight. He wisely fled the scene in great haste with Elin apparently blasting the rear glass with his own golf club as he drove away. This would explain the reckless handling of his car as he egressed the property.


Bill Lockhart said...

Maybe she wasn't in the mood to play with his woody.

Bobby "Fletch" T said...

Nice Bill!!

It appears upon further inquiry that Tiger has been frolicking around with Rachel Ulchitel, a known party girl for the rich and famous. She has a history of hangin with the ultra rich (see article on Fox). it also is now being touted that Elin found out about the tryst and decided to end it on her controlable end. The 2 iron to the face damaged Tigers pride, but having to watch his wife beat the windows of his ride while he wriggled away and cowered in fear damaged his psyche. The real question is how much damage did she inflict and will he ever be able to get back in her good graces.

As an act of kindness, I will gladly fly down and hang out at the Windemere mansion with the perturbed Ms. Woods and see if I can help her through this difficult time. We could play our own game of 1 on 1. She might even think I am the bravest man alive. I will even charge the flight to Mr. Underhills Amex card. Want the Number?