Well I can sure see how this story plays out. Drunken man leaves bar, and, naturally, approaches stuffed animal at storefront display. Sees cop watching him, goes back into bar for more confidence (I mean alcohol). Comes out later and propositions animal. After successful negotiations, he picks up animal (in more ways than 1 ) and heads to his ride. Arrested! and Busted! Go Directly to Jail you Perv! Do not pass Go Do Not Collect $200! Thankfully this didn't happen in Alabama. Here's the story:
A giraffe spent Friday morning at the Ashland Police Department, after an officer rescued it from the clutches of a drunken man who was trying to take it home.
The 4-foot stuffed giraffe, located outside the downtown children's store Bug A Boo, was a tempting target for Ashland resident Sean Patrick McDowell, 24, who is accused of having twice tried to steal the animal early Friday, police said.
"He was apparently pretty enamored with it and decided he was taking it home," said Sgt. Bob Smith with the Ashland Police Department.
McDowell was cited for theft after his second encounter with the giraffe, according to police.
At about 1 a.m., Officer Theron Hull observed McDowell pick up the giraffe and simulate making sexual advances on it, Smith said.
"Then he turns and sees Officer Hull and so he puts the giraffe down and walks away," he said.
Later, at about 2:30 a.m., just after the downtown bars had closed for the night, McDowell returned to the Bug A Boo storefront and again picked up the giraffe, Smith said. McDowell was walking with the giraffe toward a parking lot at Water and B streets when Hull apprehended him.
"It took a little more alcohol, but about an hour-and-a-half later, he decided to try it again," Smith said.
"Maybe he had struck out with all the women at the bar and this giraffe was looking pretty good, so he said, 'I'm going to take it back to my own place,'" he joked.
Police returned the giraffe to Bug A Boo Friday morning.
This is in Oregon for the inquiring mind! See the attraction below! How can you resist?
4 comments:
Back in the gutter again!
Since Reid broached the subject, we mine as well play it out. You may remember that across the state line in Enumclaw, WA, they had no law prohibiting sex with animals and there were several "farms" where this activity took place regularly until a few years ago, when some dude killed himself in a way I won't describe. Maybe this guy lives in Enumclaw and missed the good old days...just sayin'.
Who's smarter than a fifth grader? Not that idiot for sure. By the way I have littler problem broaching many subjects Ed, I usually disdain to keep your "E-Rant" out of the Gutter.
I never mind sensitive subject matter...if it's in the news, it's fair game to be covered here. It's the coarse language some commenters use that should be checked from time to time.
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