What are they doing to keep us safe you ask? Why handing out fliers to diseased travelers from western Africa of course. Border and Customs agents will be handing out pamphlets to let arrivals from western Africa what symptoms to be aware of and who to call in the case of a break out.
No need to stop diseased colonists from entering the country, just make them well informed of their virulence. I know I feel better now, how about you?
In addition to manning the "Arrivals" concourses at the airports, agents will be installing pamphlet kiosks every 1 mile along the southern border so that the teeming, third-world peasants who're streaming across will be well informed of the various deadly diseases they're bringing into our country.