First the water, then the whiskey

As a native Georgian, this is particularly funny to me. Drought stricken Georgia, having run out of water options other than rain-dances, cloud seeding, and divining rods, has decided that the northern border with Tennessee was drawn 1 mile too far south and they want to change it back. You see, the huge Tennessee River flows within a half mile of the Georgia/Tenn. line in Chattanooga. Georgia intends to tap the river and build a water pipeline down to Atlanta. Chattanooga mayor Ron Littlefield says, "Not so fast" between chuckles. He then wrote this proclamation to make peace with Georgia....

PROCLAMATION

WHEREAS, it has come to pass that the heavens are shut up and a drought of Biblical proportions has been visited upon the Southern United States, and

WHEREAS, the parched and dry conditions have weighed heavily upon the State of Georgia and sorely afflicted those who inhabit the Great City of Atlanta, and

WHEREAS, the leaders of Georgia have assembled like the Children of Israel in the desert, grumbled among themselves and have begun to cast longing eyes toward the north, coveting their neighbor’s assets, and

WHEREAS, the lack of water has led some misguided souls to seek more potent refreshment or for other reasons has resulted in irrational and outrageous actions seeking to move a long established and peaceful boundary, and

WHEREAS, it is deemed better to light a candle than curse the darkness, and better to offer a cool, wet kiss of friendship rather than face a hot and angry legislator gone mad from thirst, and

WHEREAS, it is feared that if today they come for our river, tomorrow they might come for our Jack Daniels or George Dickel,

NOW THEREFORE, In the interest of brotherly love, peace, friendship, mutual prosperity, citywide self promotion, political grandstanding and all that,

I Ron Littlefield, Mayor of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee,

Do hereby Proclaim that Wednesday, February 27, 2008 shall be known as

“Give Our Georgia Friends a Drink Day”

How humiliating for the Atlanta politicians to have the mayor of Chattanooga publically mock and ridicule them....I love it! It's their own fault for allowing absolutely unlimited growth in Atlanta for the past 40 years when they don't have the resources to support it. They have a single source of water...Lake Lanier, which, as you can see from the picture, is mostly dry. I guess Hotlanta won't necessarily remain the Southern Mecca it used to be.