“The American people will never knowingly adopt Socialism. But under the name of ‘liberalism’ they will adopt every fragment of the Socialist program, until one day America will be a Socialist nation, without knowing how it happened.”

Socialist Party presidential candidate Norman Thomas

Friday, April 21, 2006

Thinning the human heard...

So I'm watching this news story this morning on how distracted drivers are causing an increasing number of accidents. They put hidden cameras in some cars and filmed the drivers going about their daily business. Of course it was no surprise to watch people putting on makeup, looking out their window while still moving, changing CD's, eating a hamburger, or talking or text messaging on their cell phones...lots of really stupid stuff that any idiot should know better than to do while driving a car.

Then they interviewed people on the street who all agreed that something should be done. We should pass a law banning any activity which might have the potential to distract the driver. Cell phones, GPS or DVD screens, loud music, eating while driving all should be banned the report suggested. That's alarming considering that listening to your radio, or a passenger talk to you, or rolling down your window would all qualify as potential distractions. If you had to sit perfectly still, hands at 10 and 2 on the wheel, in absolute silence so you could concentrate, you would fall asleep at the wheel out of sheer boredom.

We don't need any new laws. Our freedoms are restricted enough as it is. I say let the natural laws of evolution selectively take care of this problem for us rather than restrict everybody for what a relative few morons are doing.

When our ancestors were living in caves and hunting wild saber-tooth tigers or whatever, there were severe evolutionary pressures on them to survive...much more severe than today. Those cavemen who could run fastest escaped from the tigers. Those cavemen who were smart enough to learn to throw a spear accurately were more able to feed their families and thus be more attractive to cavewomen and therefore have more accurate-spear-throwing children. The guys who couldn't run fast or throw a spear accurately couldn't be counted on as providers and what cavewoman would marry and have children with a guy who can't throw a spear straight and bring home saber-tooth tiger burgers for dinner? Eventually, over several generations, the slow-footed, bad spear throwers eliminated themselves from the gene pool. They were either caught and eaten, or they grew old alone and died along with their bad genes.

Now to relate that bit of very accurately documented human history to the distracted drivers of today. The drivers who pay attention, observe conditions, reliably operate their vehicle, and can effectively talk on a cell phone or eat a hamburger while driving, are the fleet-footed, good spear throwers of the 21st century. The halfwitted morons who allow themselves to get distracted by other things while driving are the slow-moving, bad spear throwers. It might not happen today, or tomorrow, but eventually over time, these people will eliminate themselves from the gene pool...hopefully before they can pass their stupid genes on to any stupid children and without taking too many of the rest of us with them.

There are no more saber-toothed tigers, or Velocoraptors, or T-Rex's to apply evolutionary pressures on the human species. (relax, I know that dinosaurs were long extinct before humans were around...it's a bit of literary license as it makes the example more entertaining to think about) And humans have overcome many of the routine pressures that would otherwise have "thinned the heard" so to speak. We have medicines to cure disease, we have coats to warm us and AC to cool us. We have killed off or domesticated any animals which may have posed a threat, and food is relatively cheap and plentiful. New evolutionary pressures arise every day if you look for them and natural-selection-by-distracted-driver is the newest way by which the human heard is thinned of it's less intelligent members.

All I'm saying is that we don't need any new laws to protect us from idiots. Evolution has a way of taking care of idiots without inconveniencing the rest of us. It's part of the 21st century circle of life.


edskid979 said...

I am michael, and i completely agree with ed, and i think its absolutely hilarious that people have managed to be so stupid that we have gone from being threatend by saber tooth tigers, to being threaatend by stupid uncordinated people that are unable to eat and drive at the same time. Although, I guess that every one would be stupid and uncoordinated if those people didn't kill themselves
in car wrecks.

Anonymous said...

I'm all for thinning the herd of idiots out there but if in the process of distracted driving (because they don't have the sense to pay attention) they kill off the more intelligent, cautious drivers out there, aren't we thinning the wrong herd. They should just make a "stupid lane" and whatever activity you want to engage in while driving in that lane puts no one at risk but you and other make-up applying, cell phone talking, hamburger scarfing idiots.

Ed said...

Yes, the wrong heard may be thinned in any given incident, but in the long run, say over the next 10 years or so, on average, many more half-wits will kill only themselves than those that take others with them. Moreover, cautious, defensive drivers will likely use seatbelts religiously and drive cars or SUV's with multiple airbags. This would also increase the survivability of the favorable heard individuals thus increasing the relative depth of the favorable end of the gene pool.

I think it's better, in general, not to restrict the freedoms of the group in order to protect them from the recklessness of a few. The caveat to that would be drunk driving...unlike cell phone use while driving, it's not a matter of skillfullness or care. Nobody can operate a vehicle while drunk so of course there should be a law.

I like your idea of a stupid lane. I think the Germans were way ahead of the curve on this years ago when they invented...the Autobahn.

Kevin said...

I dont understand how people could kill themselves driving while talking on a cell phone. Has anyone ever tried it, its pretty easy. Eating may present problems, but then again, if it does, dont eat while driving. But most times, uncoordinated people who cant talk and drive at the same time usually just hit a tree or run off a bridge. Wow! maybe that explains why Ted Kennedy drove off the bridge, because he was intoxicated!!! Of course he injured someone else too when he neglected to save that girl. Do you think that they could make Stupid Politician lanes too?