Storm the Whitehouse

STORM THE WHITEHOUSE
(originally posted in March 2006)

The following event sounds like a really good time, check out the announcement (in part) from the Birkenstocks and hemp crowd over at UnitedforPeaceandJustice.com…

Wednesday, March 15th 2006 12:00 AM
Washington, D.C. USA

TAKE THE WHITEHOUSE BY STORM – Stop Genocide, Torture and Occupation

It is our duty and the duty of the United Nations to rescue the people of the world from the U.S. dictators. Murder for occupation and theft of land is illegal. Murder of journalists is criminal. Remove the traitors who have stolen the U.S. budget and used it to commit international crimes against humanity.

[we must storm in…] The World Criminal Courts need to incarcerate Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld…

And this is just priceless: The Political Cooperative will put a new, temporary government in place that is comprised of people from Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and all the organizations that have finally made us aware of the truth of the savage practices and illegal policies of our government…

[The] Political Cooperative? What in the name of Timothy Leary is that? It sounds like a commune in Idaho where the great unwashed nation of smelly, aging hippies gathers to munch granola, listen to Joni Mitchell albums, and plot it’s triumphant return to the glory days of the sixties which, is the last time, and regretfully then, they were anything resembling relevant.

Seriously for a minute, this is the plan?
[First: From around the country, they’re going to gather as many incense-reeking, soap-averse, under-achieving, flower children, together in the Nation’s capitol…at least as many as can Visine their eyes long enough to read a roadmap from Berkeley, or Soho or wherever].
O.K., so I don’t have a problem with smelly hippies traveling the interstate system from across the country. It’s just that there is perhaps an overreaching assumption by organizers that a significant percentage of them can arrive on time, having avoided Under the Influence arrests on the way.

[Second: They lawfully assemble in front of the Whitehouse.]
Peaceful assembly is still constitutional the last time I checked so I’m still cool with it.

[Then: they storm in and install a temporary government.]
OK, let’s say the whole storming-the-Whitehouse thing works. (Disregard the fact that the likelihood of even getting past the front gate successfully without getting shot is as remote as Paris Hilton getting past pre-algebra.) From the sound of it, the new government will evidently be composed of other smelly hippies. Only these hippies are employed by hippie organizations, Amnesty International and Human Rights Watch. (Ex. A.I. and H.R.W., consistently with Leftist hippie creed, found no crimes against humanity in Somalia, Sudan or Iraq but railed hysterically against imagined voter intimidation in Florida in ’00 and ‘04) Now, while hippies are fond of running around in swarms of buzzing flies, hemp smocks and rose-colored John Lennon glasses in their every day life, the very nature of employment implies not only bathing, but the wearing of decent clothes to work. Compared to your garden-variety hippie, these “working hippies” at A.I. and H.R.W. probably appear enlightened and quite successful. I guess clean clothes and bug-eyed anti-Americanism qualifies one to hold Executive offices in the new government…what did they call it…The Political Cooperative? You just gotta love the patchouli oil and tofu bunch! We’ll be watching on the 15th…Good luck!