UPI -- Enron Corp. founder Kenneth Lay, who was convicted of helping perpetuate one of the most sprawling business frauds in U.S. history, died Wednesday of a heart attack in Colorado, disappointing liberals across the country. As the largest donor to George Bush's presidential campaigns and a member of corporate America, Lay found himself with a double bull's-eye on his back. Following his conviction for the Enron financial scandal, along with CEO Jeffery Skilling, liberals gleefully looked forward to October, the month scheduled for Lay's sentencing. He faced possibly decades in prison.
Said one New York Times reporter who wished to remain anonymous, "We've [the liberal media] been trying to get this character for years. He represents all that is evil about corporate America, and that he's a Republican only fueled our hatred of him."
Liberals nationwide were smuggly anticipating covering Ken Lay being perp-walked to jail. Now after his death, they only have Jeffery Skilling to kick around.
Continued the Times reporter, "We feel like the rug has been yanked out from under us, like Christmas has been cancelled or something. Sure Skilling is made from the same mold as Lay but he's a small fish. We had bagged the biggest crook in corporate history and we deserved to be able to enjoy the spoils of our victory. Lay's sentencing would have been the perfect platform to show the world how evil corporations are and how they should be much more heavily regulated by the government, controlled by Democrats of course."
The Times reporter, resigned to the truth of Lay's demise, offered this parting comment, "Believe you me, we have lots of other corporate heads in our gun sights. We'll get 'em! We'll get 'em all!"