NEWS FLASH: We finally have an answer to the question, "What ever happened to Steven Seagal's career"? The only problem is that nobody's asking it. You'll remember Seagal from all those martial arts films which were titled to finish the sentence,
Steven Seagal is... Out for Justice, Hard to Kill, Above the Law, In Line at the Buffet...etc. OK, I made that last one up, but it would explain where his career went. But according to Seagal, the FBI floated rumors in a whispering campaign which linked him with the MOB and intimidation of journalists. Apparently studio heads don't like the MOB...who knew? Anyway, Seagal wants an apology from the Bureau.
I guess the following problems with his career never occurred to him: His movies are carbon copies of each other, toward the end he got irritatingly preachy about the evil oil industry, toxic waste, and bio terror, audiences chose to follow other action stars, he runs like a girl, and his belt size expanded to approximate the combined IQ if the
Two Corey's.
Here's a pic of the bloated Seagal singing for spare change in downtown L.A. We can all thank the FBI for ruining his career.
Here's a pic of the bloated Seagal singing for spare change in downtown L.A. We can all thank the FBI for ruining his career.
2 comments:
Ed i think people dont ask where Seagal's career went because... well he never really had one. His movies kinda suck
The first one I saw, Hard to Kill or was it Above the Law, was allright for an 80's action flick. His martial arts schtick was new and different from the traditional kung-fu crap, so it caught everybody's attention for a while but then it got old because nothing ever changed. The plots were always the same too..."Maverick cop kicks the crap out of organized criminals the street thugs after they threaten his family"...that about sums up every movie.
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