Lindsay Lohan gets the business from Taiwanese animators

I don't have a clue why the judge sentenced LiLo to perform community service at womens' shelters and the LA Country morgue. What could Lohan possibly have to teach single, homeless women about life unless it's how not to live it? And the morgue? What's up with that? Either way, you knew the Taiwanese animators would be all over this one.....



Hat tip to my friend Pat over at Belchspeak for the clip.

Finally, the merciful end of the road in America for Miley Cyrus

I haven't done any fun-poking at ditsy Hollywood tarts lately so here's my obligatory Miley Cyrus post. Apparently she's not "feeling the love" from Americans right now....

From FoxNews -- "I just think right now America has gotten to a place where I don't know if they want me to tour or not. Right now I just want to go to the places where I am getting the most love and Australia and South America have done that for me."

Heh heh, maybe it's that Americans have finally grown tired of an over hyped, barely talented, drug-addled airhead who thinks way more of herself and her singing abilities than others do. Thanks goodness for our has-been pop stars that other countries consume our pop culture after it's run its course here or dopey performers like Miley Cyrus wouldn't have careers by the time they reach 25. Well, that's if you don't include the soft porn industry which is where I've predicted she's headed about 5 minutes after her popularity in Europe wanes.

Unions get the hat top at Oscars

I didn't watch the whole show last night, but for the parts I did watch, the only reference to lefty causes I heard were two winners who went out of their way to thank their "UNION crews", with stress on the word "union". Unless there were others, I guess the Oscars were more or less politics free....a refreshing change from past years. But then, when the messianic, democrat President is in the white house rather then the loathsome republican George Bush, celebrities are loathe to criticize the government or it's policies.

So I guess it wasn't entirely unwatchable TV, but thank goodness for the "last channel" button on the remote so we could click back and forth between the Oscars and Through the Worm Hole on the Science channel.

Ashton Kutcher.....cry-baby!

A teary-eyed Ashton Kutcher whined that the Bush's didn't pay him enough attention during the Superbowl....

From HuffPo -- "I don't think he's very happy with me," he said. "He just was not very nice to me. He just kind of snubbed me a little bit."

In what parallel world does a half-witted twink like Ashton Kutcher deserve to be acknowledged by a former President and First Lady?

ARod....stupidest celebrity of the week

I've never like Alex Rodriguez. He's a self-absorbed cheater who lied repeatedly about using steroids in baseball. He's a horrible sport around the diamond as has been documented numerous times.
The girl with whom he's currently sleeping is one of the hottest actresses in Hollywood. Fox Sports cameras at the Superbowl caught a 5 second shop of Cameron Diaz feeding him a mouthful of popcorn, something all couples do from time to time. It's just not a big deal, yet ARod pitched a hissy fit during the game and forced Fox to not focus the cameras on him for the rest of the game. How he did this remains a mystery. I would have told him to SHUT-UP, sit down, and enjoy the rest of the game and if he doesn't want to be photographed, don't go out in public. Then Fox publicly apologized to him for airing the 5 seconds of footage. How stupid!

ARod confirmed that he is a primadonna, pretty-boy, a-hole. That he has no sense of humor is the worst quality in a celebrity and should earn him as much ridicule, mockery, and derision as we can heap upon him. What a contemptible jackass!

Christina Aguilera botched the anthem, but not just the words

Am I the only one who isn't concerned that Christina Aguilera fumbled the words to the national anthem? I mean it's a hard song to sing under your breath, try doing it with like 100 million people watching you around the world. What bothered me is that these pop princesses always feel the need to jazz up the national anthem and sing it with a warbling opera-like voice that makes it impossible to sing along with and irreverent to the point of irritation. Clearly she thought the invitation was an opportunity to showcase her vocal talents. It wasn't that and undoubtedly most of the audience resented her drawing the attention to herself rather than letting people focus on the song.

Miss Aguilera has a terrific voice, why not use it to sing this one song as it was written?

With republicans like Arnold, who needs a democrat?

Arnold Schwarzenegger plunges from simple incompetence as governor, to sheer and utter idiocy as a soon-to-be ex-gov. by asking for a job fighting an entirely imaginary menace, global warming, in Chairman Zero's administration.....

From YanooNews -- "I'm a big believer in environmental issues," Schwarzenegger said, who added that he wanted a post where he could use his "celebrity power … knowledge and experience" to impact public policy. "I've traveled the world. … I'm very familiar with the world."

With copy like, "I'm very familiar with the world.", Arnold shows that celebrity, despite ditziness, is all that's necessary to rise to the level of your own incompetence. No doubt there's room in Obama's shadow-cabinet of corrupt czars for another mentally deficient global-warming believer.

Kate Gosselin gets "the look" from Sarah Palin

As big of a douche as John Gosselin is, I'm starting to see why he bailed on that marriage. Kate is a miserable, raving shrew! In a curious cross-promotion for TLC, Sarah and Todd Palin hosted Kate and her litter of brats on their show in Alaska. Kate hated camping outdoors, whining like a petulant child, "There are no towels or hand sanitizer. I'm cold and hungry! Why would anybody pretend to be homeless?"

Clearly not sure what to think of Kate, Sarah gives her "the look".

From Linkiest.

I told you so

People are always responsible for themselves and the decisions they make but who didn't see this coming?

Miley Cyrus is now the inadvertent celebrity face of the hallucinogen salvia.

Ever since a video of her smoking a bong packed with salvia was published online Friday, sales of the herbal drug are way up in California, TMZ reports.

According to people TMZ talked to who deal, legally, in salvia divinorum, sales have increased up to three times since Friday.

Since sales of salvia have gone up because of her, I hope sales of Miley Cyrus swag go down by at least that much. She's a role model whether she likes it or not and she's has influence on a lot of irresponsible, impressionable, stupid people. If some kid gets hurt because she was trying to be like Miley, Miley's partially to blame for allowing that video to be taken and distributed.

Move Hannah Montana up on your celebrity dead-pool

You knew it was going to happen sooner or later, it always does. Miley Cyrus, the good girl who played Hannah Montana for years and served as a role model for millions of impressionable young girls, allowed a friend to shoot a video of her hitting a bong 5 days after her 18th birthday.....



The Cyrus camp is claiming that it was only Salvia, a psychoactive plant similar to pot, but is still legal in California. I call BS on that! Besides, who cares? Whether it's pot or Salvia, this stupid girl's experimenting with drugs. She can OD on drugs for all I care, but she's got young fans who want to be like her and will experiment with drugs for the first time in the coming days because Miley did it.

I imagine she'll end up in a few years like Lindsay Lohan. Embarrassing herself every time she leaves the house with DUI's, minor possession busts, and cooch flashes....that is if she can keep from getting unexpectedly pregnant. Finally, after flagging record sales and sparsely attended concerts, she'll end up taking her clothes off to try to generate some interest, but it'll only be pathetic and sad. By 30 she'll be washed up, tired, and haggard....a mere shadow of her former self. Hollywood does that to people.

Vapid celebs are far less interesting than they think

Usher, Lady GaGa, and Kim Kardashian among other celebrities, are vowing to remain digitally silent until $1million is raised for AIDS awareness week on behalf of kids with AIDS. They're not posting on Facebook or Twitter until they reach their goal.

So the intriguing question before us is do we want a world where children are potentially AIDS-free or a world in which vapid, dumb celebrities don't annoy us with the idiotic minutiae of their every-day lives? I'm not going to lie, that's sort of a toss up for me. I can see both sides.

It is amusing that only $181,000 has been raised and the event has come and gone. What's an attention-starved celeb to do?

Trollop Angelina Jolie hates Thanksgiving

Well I've seen my last movie in which Angelina Jolie plays a role....

From FoxNews -- “Jolie hates this holiday and wants no part in rewriting history like so many other Americans,” the friend said. “To celebrate what the white settlers did to the native Indians, the domination of one culture over another, just isn’t her style. She definitely doesn’t want to teach her multi-cultural family how to celebrate a story of murder.”

“Angelina gets so grossed out by Thanksgiving that she has made sure her family will not be in America this year on Thursday,” an insider tells Shuter.

Thanksgiving isn't a celebration of the evil white man's murder of defenseless Indians. If she believes what our kids are taught in government schools, it's about thanking our head-feathered friends for showing us how to survive the harsh, north-east winters.

I'd like to think she'll see a serious drop in ticket sales to her stupid movies but Americans' obsession with celebrities far outweighs their willingness to not buy a ticket to a move featuring a celebrity who has contempt for one of our most revered traditions.

There's talk of her playing the role of Dagny Taggart in the movie version of Atlas Shrugged, but this may have just ruined it for me.

Scarlett Johansson is a dingbat

Sadly we must add Scarlett Johansson to the long list of celebrity nitwits who have swallowed the global-warming hokum fabricated in the dark recesses of Al Gore's tormented mind, that is when he's not sexually molesting hotel masseuses. The buxom actress thinks it's up to rich countries to save poor countries from the imaginary effects of a warming planet by what else, redistributing wealth. She encourages rich nations to save the poor by.....

"...setting up a new global climate fund that is fair and safe and enables vulnerable people, especially women, in poor countries to build resilience to the growing threats of a changing climate. Progress on climate funding will also help restore trust between poor and rich countries, opening new doors for more constructive dialogue."

Despite man-made global warming having been totally and completely debunked as crap, celebrities still feel self-important and socially relevant when they pretend to stand up for the "less fortunate" and lecture the rest of us about how our lifestyles harm others. We're supposed to ignore that the average celebrity halfwit conspicuously consumes many times the resources as the average American for whom they show contempt.

Scarlett should stick to acting and looking good in a dress and leave the issue debates and public policy to grown ups who've actually given this stuff some thought.

Thanks to Politico for the story.

We're obsessed with Bristol Palin now?

By now you've probably heard that Bristol Palin made it to the finals of Dancing With The Stars. Predictably, dumb lefties think it's a tea-party conspiracy to rig the voting and give her the win. In liberals' defense, there are probably enough dumb conservatives who think that voting excessively for Bristol and giving her an undeserved DWTS victory, somehow validates Sarah Palin's, and by extension their own, politics?

Let me be clear.....both of you are IDIOTS! It's a stupid TV show. I doubt I could sit through an entire hour of DWTS without putting a loaded .38 in my mouth. Why would anybody view it for anything other than what it is....a cheesy ratings bonanza for Fox and mindless entertainment for millions of celebrity-obsessed half-wits.

I don't care if you watch the show, but for it to enter your conscious mind even once other than during the hour you waste watching it, makes you an imbecile.

Here's another amusing Justin Bieber story.....

From azcentral -- Surprise police said a boy pulled a knife on his mother who refused to let him go trick-or-treating as a "gay Justin Bieber," the singer and teen idol.

Isn't "gay Justin Bieber" sort of redundant? I'm just asking.

Since you've no doubt seen all the Justin Bieber pictures you care to, here's a helpful picture of what a 12 year old boy brandishing a knife might look like....



In other news, who knew there was a town in Arizona named Surprise? Do all the residents walk around with their eye brows permanently raised and their mouths in the shape of an "O"?

Charlie Sheen just being Charlie Harper

I'm sure you've heard about Charlie Sheen's most recent arrest for trashing a room at the Plaza Hotel in NYC. He was cavorting with a prostitute who apparently got angry at him for some reason. Clearly this will only boost viewership of his TV show.

Sheen is the highest paid actor on TV, raking in $2million per episode to essentially play himself in real life.

That buys a lot of prostitutes. You'd think he could hire one that doesn't throw stuff at him.

Into the abyss

If troubled, celebrity nitwit Lindsay Lohan isn't already at the top of your celebrity deadpool, she should be. Unverified pictures have surfaced of her at a party with Paris Hilton in 2007 which show her mainlining heroin. She was 21 at the time.

Good grief, how miserably awful are her parents? I nominate Michael and Dina Lohan as worst celebrity parents of all time. We've been making jokes at her expense for at least 10 years, but she's only 24 years old....I'd have sworn she was 34.

The only problem with putting LiLo at the top of your deadpool is that the more expected their demise, the less points you score when they finally manage to kill themselves. Now, John Ritter's untimely death scored a lot of points for anybody who had him in their top 25....nobody saw that coming....just sayin'.

Susan Sarandan is delusional

Self-centered narcissism is never more evident than with President Obama, unless it's with nitwit, Hollywood celebrities. Vapid, leftist rube Susan Sarandan lamented that "the nation mourned", referring to her divorce from other liberal moron, Tim Robbins. She actually thinks there are Americans who care about her life. Perhaps there are....I call them fatally-distracted Obama voters, without whom the woefully inept community agitator couldn't have been installed into the white house by the awful media.

"The nation mourned".....give me a break!

I was holding it for a friend.....heh heh!

Just how dumb is Paris Hilton?

Las Vegas cops pulled over an Escalade and after several suspicious moves by the occupants, one being Paris, the officer observed in her purse, a small bag containing 0.8gms of cocaine....for those keeping score at home, that amounts to a felony possession charge. Paris stupidly retreated to the tired excuse, "It's not mine....I was just holding it for a friend".

Tell it to the judge, Paris!

Surely after her stint in the LA's county clink and assorted marijuana possession busts, this will finally get this menace off the streets and into jail where anybody else not named Paris, Britney, or Lindsay would end up after a string of collars like this.

I think she's tired of Lindsay Lohan getting all the bad-girl attention and wants to reclaim her rightful place as the world's dumbest tramp. She's off to a good start. If she can just manage to seduce a jail guard in exchange for drugs, that'll guarantee her the crown for sure.

I for one, am pulling for her.

Justin Bieber and her new single

I'm sure everybody knows who Justin Bieber is by now. Her songs are very popular I'm told. Over at Gawker.com, they wondered what it would sound like if you slowed one of her songs down by 800%. It's actually far more listenable than the original.....

J. BIEBZ - U SMILE 800% SLOWER by Shamantis