Global Warming or Dead Fish?

Recently, a large humpback whale was spotted near Juneau, Alaska as it died. The whale , as was discovered when it washed onto the shore on Admiralty Island, had an unusually large (swollen) tongue. This whale was spotted on numerous occasions as it toiled to breath in the last few days of its life. Early reports indicate that the whale may have collided with a ship or possibly had a major infection. Regardless the animal died and is currently under investigation. It appears that all of the US based ships that sail in and out of this area have no report of a hit-and-run whale incident and therefore attribute this wreck to a foreign based ship sailing within US territorial waters. Spies? Illegal Orientals? Illegal game fishermen? Who knows, but the fact remains that very soon AlGore will be gracing the media extolling us with his standard diatribe on global warming. It will be discovered (by Al) that the swelling resulted from an increase in the ocean temperature directly related to the increasing temperature of the planet, as a result of human carbon monoxide pollutants.

The environmentalist movement will soon be parading around beseeching that this mammal( yes I do know a whale is not a fish) be saved a not dissected to determine anything useful.

Humpback whales are an endangered species and since last check have a population increase on average of about 7% per year. This means that as the whale population grows, the potential of whale-boat catastrophes in the Alaskan area will increase.

When will Cindy Shehan arrive to save the day? Oh, I forgot she is taking on SanFranNan now! By the way, The picture is of Katie Couric Standing next to a humpback!

Solution to many problems

During my week vacationing in the lovely state of Florida, I have finally come up with a solution to 3 major problems plaguing these United States. The problems are:

Illegal Immigration

Post Katrina rebuilding

Alligators killing Floridians

My solution is simple: Dig a ditch 10' deep and 30' wide along the border of Mexico. Take the dirt and dump it in the New Orleans area to create higher and stronger levies as well as to generally raise the level of the area. Fill the ditch with some water and relocate the alligators to the ditch. All 3 problems are solved. The illegals will stop streaming in because the alligators will eat them. The alligators are not being mistreated as they are being moved to an area witha bountiful food supply, and the laggards in the Big Sleezy can shut up as their beloved levies will now be at least 10-15' taller.I will now be moving on to another set of complex tasks and their solutions.

What global warming?

Man, we could sure use a little bit of that "man-made global warming" Al Gore is running around scaring everybody with.


Click on the map to enlarge, and see how cold it is around the country today.

The dreaded Amazon "toothpick" fish

I came across a nature story over at damninteresting.com, and I felt actual sympathetic pain while I read it.
Briefly, there is this tiny toothpick-sized carnivorous fish in the Amazon River whose attack method is horrifying. It tastes, and follows, the urea stream found in the waste of a larger fish breathing out through it's gills. It strikes with lightening quickness, burying itself in the urea source, where it sticks out sharp anchoring prongs and then proceeds to bite into the wall of an artery or vein and gorges itself on the blood of the host animal.

Given that humans expel their urea through liquid waste, imagine you are a native, swimming in the Amazon and you need to tinkle....I'll let your imagination take it from there.

OOOOOUUUUUCH!!!

The circle of life

What are the odds against catching an eagle, red fox, magpie, and a dear all together somewhere besides the circus?

It looks like the fox was happily dining on the dear carcus while the magpie hopped around the taking nips when it could. Then an eagle flew overhead and decided, "Hey, I can take that red fox, I'm the dadgum symbol of America!"

Natural selection in action, baby!

Natural disasters happen

Tonga Given No Tsunami Warning After Quake Published: 5/3/06, 10:07 PM EDT

NUKU'ALOFA, Tonga (AP) - A powerful earthquake struck near the South Pacific nation of Tonga early Thursday, triggering tsunami warnings for as far away as Fiji and New Zealand. But word of the imminent danger never reached the tiny country closest to the epicenter.

Apparently there was a power outage at the precise time people were sending messages and tsunami warnings to the tiny island monarchy. The earthquake was 34 miles from Tonga. I've read that tidal waves travel like 500 miles per hour. This means that the residents of Tonga had approximately 4 minutes to do exactly what? The island is 286 square miles. Where would they run to?

This brings up another story which talks about the residents of the Florida Keys abandoning their houses already...the hurricane season hasn't even begun yet. Look, when you live in places that are susceptible to extreme weather phenomena, you tend to loose your stuff if not your life at some point. Sure it's great to live in Tonga or Key West most of the time but eventually a hurricane or tidal wave is going to get you or at least destroy your house and property.

These two stories remind me of the people in New Orleans before Katrina. They lived happily in a cereal bowl out of which which enormous pumps kept water that naturally wanted to flow there. Now people are moving back and setting up camp in the same places only three feet higher on stilts (for the life of me, I don't know what three feet will do when the Katrina flood waters were up to the roof gutters...that's like 12 feet). In Tonga and the Keys we have people living happily in the paths of hurricanes and earth quakes respectively and fretting about when they will get wiped out. They will get wiped out sooner or later. It's not a question of if, but when. That's the risk you run when you live in the path of nature.

What is most surprising though is that real estate prices continue to soar in these places even though the residents are leaving permanently in droves.