When are you people going to learn?

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you own a pit-bull and trust it not to kill you, you are a retarded moron. Once again we hear a tragic story from Pacifica, California where a pregnant woman was mauled to death by the family's pet pit-bull terrier. Her husband came home to find the dog prowling around the bloody body of his pregnant wife. She had multiple, severe trauma wounds on her upper body and head.

The dog slaughtered a mother and baby. How f-ing stupid are you people? These dogs are bred for one purpose, to kill as viciously as possible. What makes anybody think it won't kill them when the right switch is tripped?

I get why rappers and rednecks like to own killer dogs. By associating the dogs power, dominance, and viciousness with themselves, it makes them feel more powerful and dominant when they really aren't. But rappers and rednecks are stupid, imbecilic, and developmentally stalled at like age 16. Normal people should know better.

A mother and unborn baby slaughtered by a dog....good grief!

In this week's animal eats child story, drugs were involved.....surprised?

How's this for predictability?

From CBSDetroit -- A 29-year-old Lincoln Park mother and her 35-year-old boyfriend are expected to turn themselves in for arraignment this week.

Police said the woman’s five-year-old physically disabled son, Kyle Holland, was attacked by the man’s pet wolf-dog hybrid, last July, while he slept.

The boy’s mother, Deborah Lane Holland and her boyfriend Earl Dwayne Adkins are both charged with the child’s death. They also face separate charges in connection with more than a dozen marijuana plants that police said were being grown in Adkins’ basement.

Is it just me or does it seem like every time a wild animal, kept domestically, kills and eats a child, the animal always belongs to the idiot, live-in boyfriend?

By a show of hands, who's not surprised that the couple isn't married, that drugs were involved, or that it happened in Detroit? OK, that's 1....2....like everybody!

Black Mamba validates Darwinian selection in New York

Regular reader Billy sent this story in today regarding a stupid New York woman who kept poisonous snakes as pets in her home...

From FoxNews -- PUTNAM LAKE, N.Y. – A black mamba, widely considered the world's most poisonous snake, was suspected in the death of a woman who kept 75 snakes as pets at her suburban New York home, authorities said on Thursday.

Aleta Stacey, 56, was found dead in her home in Putnam Lake, New York on Tuesday by her live-in boyfriend when he returned home from work, a spokesman for the Putnam County Sheriff's Office said.

If I've said it once I've said it a hundred times, you cannot make pets out of carnivorous reptiles. To them you are either a predator to be killed or food to be eaten. A human cannot develop a rapport with a snake. Reptiles belong in the wild or at best, in a zoo where you take your obnoxious brats to gawk and knock on the glass with their sticky fingers to try to disturb them even though the sign clearly says, "Do Not Knock On The Glass". But reptiles do not belong in your home. If something bad happens to you or your family, you have only your own stupid self to blame.

How many times do we have to go over this people?

My twice-a-year animal-cruelty soapbox

I've said it before and I'll say it again, if you take your unappreciative rug-rat to the circus, most zoos, or pay for movies like Water for Elephants in which intelligent animals are forced to perform stupid tricks for human entertainment, then you are complicit in abuse and torture because apparently that's how they're trained and handled when no body's looking.....

From Dailymail -- In the secret footage, released by charity Animal Defenders International (ADI), the elephant is seen being given electric shocks with hand-held stun guns and being beaten with bull hooks.

If you are stupid enough to believe that this isn't how virtually all performing animals are trained and handled, then it will give me great pleasure when, in front of your caterwauling brat whose face is sticky with cotton-candy and snot, a fed up elephant tramples you at the circus, you get mauled by a lion at the zoo, or a monkey sinks his teeth into your leg.

Go to the link above and watch the videos or simply search "elephant cruelty" on Youtube, and see if you really want to support the circus, bad zoos, or animal movies again.

Owner of vicioius breeds should have dog insurance

In Texas there's a proposal in the legislature to force dog owners to have insurance on their pets. I assume it's for any damage or injury the dogs might cause to others. Normally I'd be against this sort of heavy-handed government intrusion, but owning a dog is pretty much the same as owning a car. They make you have insurance on a car solely because of the damage you might cause to others, why not make you take out a policy against the harm your dog will inevitably do?

I just read where a woman was mauled to death by two Rottweilers that didn't even belong to her. Then the dogs turned and attacked their owner when he tried to pull them off. So if the safety of others is the reason we have to get car insurance, why shouldn't owners of known-vicious dog
breeds have to get insurance for when they kill or maim somebody?

If a dog attacked my family or me, it goes without saying that the dog would be killed by me and the owner severely punished by me, but it would also be helpful if the owner had insurance to pay for my medical bills for the dog, and defense lawyer who'd be defending me against charges of aggravated assault with malicious intent to harm the owner with a baseball bat.

Dude keeps poisonous snakes as pets.....what could go wrong?

Nobody delights more than me, in the misfortune of people who keep wild animals as pets, and then get attacked by them....

From DailyRecord -- FAIR LAWN, N.J. (AP) — A New Jersey man remained hospitalized Tuesday after he was bitten by his pet snake.

Fair Lawn police said 25-year-old Eric Bortz bought the albino Monocled Cobra, an eastern diamondback rattlesnake and a copperhead snake in Pennsylvania on Monday and thought their venom sacks had been removed.

Sgt. Rich Schultz said the cobra bit Bortz on Monday night after he reached into its container to feed it or otherwise handle it.

After Bortz began to experience severe respiratory problems, he was taken to St. Joseph's Medical Center in Paterson and then to Jacobi Medical Center in the Bronx, N.Y., which has a snakebite treatment center.

Heh heh...what an idiot! I don't get these people who keep exotic, wild animals around the house. They don't function as pets. You can't play with them. They'll attack you given the slightest opportunity because they see you as either a threat or as food. What's the purpose other than to provide jokers like me with a good laugh at your expense?

The Lion says, "Mmmmmm...ribs!"

If we've learned nothing else on TRR it's that you never taunt the carnivores at the zoo. That's asking for trouble. Well, it seems the same rule applies in Africa, they just haven't gotten the memo yet....

From NYDailyNews -- Three lions proved who's at the top of the food chain when they pulled an inebriated worker who was taunting them into their enclosure and devoured him before his horrified friend, authorities said.

The friend, identified only as "Simon," ran for help and brought back several tourists who were staying in a nearby chalet, but it was too late.

"It was horrific," one of the tourists, Veluchia Hassim told South Africa's News 24 TV. "The one lion was gnawing on his ribs when we got there."

Heh heh, gnawing on his ribs....that's priceless! Here's a helpful picture of the last thing the dude probably saw before Darwin claimed him




Hat tip to Belchspeak for the link.

This month's pitbull attack story

If you've read TRR for any time, you know my distrust of pitbulls and my general contempt for people who own them. I'm getting a little tired of owners writing in and defending these vicious killers as good dogs with bad owners.

Shut up already!

Pitbulls exist for one reason and eventually every one of them will try to kill something if given a chance. It's just a matter of time. It's in their genetics.

From Myfoxorlando -- ORANGE COUNTY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - 29-year old DeeDee Olizia was going for her usual morning stroll around the block on Moore Street Saturday morning, when she ran into double trouble. "I was walking by myself and I saw two dogs wander down the street. I was afraid, I'm afraid of dogs and I don't like dogs. The way I saw them coming I knew they was going to attack me," DeeDee said.

Moments later both pitbulls lunged at DeeDee who is about 8 months pregnant. "They jumped on me." DeeDee screamed as loud as she could. Neighbors like Kim Kline ran to help, "I got my baseball bat in my car in the back seat and I sprinted on fast as I could for a full block."

By the time Kline and others got there it was too late. "One of her legs had gouges in it. One of the dogs had grabbed a hold of her and was ripping skin off of her and the gouges must have been 3" long and 3" wide," Kline said.

If all pitbulls were exterminated, it wouldn't bother me one bit. If this lady was my pregnant wife, there would be no measure to the vengeance that I would visit on these dogs and their owners.

Pitbulls and chickens don't play well together

Down in Florida, where else, one neighbor's two pit bulls attacked and killed the other neighbor's chickens. Here's a picture of what the remains of a chicken killed by pit bulls might look like....


I've said it before and I'll say it again....people who own pit bulls should be held criminally responsible when those dogs attack and kill. Pit bulls have one purpose....killing. That's all they do. It's chickens today, but tomorrow it'll be that family's kids who get attacked as they run around their yard playing. Pit bulls don't know the difference between a chicken, a rabbit, and a child. They're all just small things that run and need to be eaten.

If a pit bull attacked anyone in my family, there'd be no measure to the fury with which I would slaughter that animal. And after I shot the dog, I'd have to pistol-whip the owner, purely on principle.

I know there are a lot of pitbull defenders out there so give your defense of pitbulls your best shot in the comment thread.

Bad parenting

This is the father of the year candidate who after his teen daughter was attacked by a barracuda, stopped on the way to the ER to snap a few pictures for the home album. The bloodied girl needed 51 stitches, yet her dad thought a picture with the fish was a must. The blood on the barracuda is hers. Her expression pretty much says it all. What an a-hole!

Gators? In Birmingham?

A 9ft alligator wandered onto a guys property not far from my house.....



We're like 5 hours from the panhandle of Florida where gators are common. I had no idea they had migrated this far north. That means there's a significant breeding population or somebody had one as a pet and let it loose. Either way, it makes me reconsider any ideas I ever had of taking a dip in the local swimming holes.

It must be animal-theme day

You may remember the Octopus that accurately predicted the Soccer World Cup outcome. In an article describing his curious ability to pick sports outcomes, the SI reporter who obviously has never bet on sports, offered this gem....

From SportsIllustrated -- Probability experts were quoted in media reports saying the likelihood of getting eight consecutive picks right is 1/256.

As if it takes an MIT graduated "probability expert" to multiply 1/2 by itself, 8 times. It's not rocket science, dude.

Animals doing what animals do

Headline: "Fierce alligator invades back yard and attacks resident"

Just kidding: Dumb Florida teen swims in canal known to contain alligators and is shocked, shocked when he gets bitten

From Breitbart.com -- NAPLES, Fla. (AP) - Florida wildlife officials say a 10-foot alligator bit off a man's hand while he was swimming in a canal with friends.

This happens all the time. How can Florida people not know that they are swimming with hungry alligators when they jump into that states' many fresh-water canals? What an idiot!

Bear pays for man's stupidity

This is absolutely outrageous!

GATLINBURG - A black bear bit a man on the foot this week in the Great Smoky Mountains National Park when the man got too close trying to take a photo, authorities said.

The man, whose name wasn't immediately available, let the bear get within inches of him Wednesday while hiking the Laurel Falls Trail, park spokeswoman Nancy Gray said. He didn't need treatment.

Park rangers believe they've caught the bear, a 60-pound female captured Thursday, Gray said. They'll kill it once they confirm it's the same one.

Apparently there's an automatic death sentence for any wild animal that harms a human. I generally agree with that when the animal comes into neighborhoods and slaughters pets and attacks people but, why should this bear be killed when an idiot tourist goes up into the woods and intentionally gets too close to get a stupid picture?

They should let the bear go with a warning and shoot the tourist for being a moron.

Matador gets what's coming to him....OUCH!!!

Normally I'd hate to see somebody get injured like this but the barbaric nature of bull fighting makes my reaction to this story more of a, meh *shrugs*....

MADRID (AP) — One of Spain's top matadors was seriously injured in Mexico when a 1,100-pound (500-kilogram) bull gored him in the groin and hoisted him into the air, causing major blood loss, his manager said Sunday.

Jose Tomas lost up to eight liters (17 pints) of blood after being gored Saturday by a beast named Navegante in the Mexican city of Aguascalientes.

The bull's horn penetrated 4 inches (10 centimeters) into Tomas' groin and punctured a vein and an artery.

I'm not a big animal rights guy by any stretch but, when you make sport out of brutally spearing an animal slowly to death, I root for the bull to gore the matador and will certainly not lose any sleep over this "athlete" getting gored almost to death. I mean seriously, what kind of animal-torturing savage to you have to be to not root for the bull?

Some people need to be institutionalized

If your bodhisattva suggests that you consume the secretions of a mollusk as part of a religious healing ceremony, and you have to think about your answer, perhaps you should check yourself in to one of America's many psychiatric hospitals....

MIAMI — Devotees of a man claiming to practice a traditional African religion said they had to ingest the mucus of a Giant African Snail that sickened them. Federal authorities in January raided the Miami man's home after receiving complaints.

Experts said it devastates new ecosystems. The snail grows up to 10 inches long, can reproduce on its own and even can even eat plaster.

Followers said they got violently ill, losing weight and developing strange lumps in their stomachs.

I'm betting the strange lumps are either tumors or gestational snail eggs. The neonatal slugs will feed on the stomach lining of their human host until maturity, finally gnawing their way through the host's chest wall.

Pro tip: next time, just go to the Methodist church.

Killer whale doing what killer whales do

I gain no pleasure from somebody losing her life but, you have to expect this sort of thing when you try to domesticate carnivorous top-predators such as they do at Sea World....

"The trainer was explaining different things about the whale..and then the trainer that was down there walked away from the window..and then Telly (the whale) took off really fast in the tank and he came back, shot up in the air, grabbed the trainer by the waist and started thrashing (her) around."

It's only a matter of time, when circus elephants get tired of being mistreated and trample a bunch of people, when tigers get tired of doing stupid tricks on stage and eat their trainer, when grizzly bears get tired of being made to ice skate and slaughter their trainers, when tigers at the zoo tire of people taunting them and escape to hunt the taunters or, when killer whales get tired of living in an aquarium and kill somebody. Seriously, why are people shocked when this stuff happens, because it happens all the time.

Look, I'm no animal-rights nut but I'm just saying, perhaps we should limit the stage performances to cats, dogs, and politicians. Protect the top predators, leave them in their natural habitat, and enjoy them from a distance.

Is your teen cheesing?

I guess I'll stick for now, with the stupid-teenager posts....

A 31-state salmonella outbreak first detected in Utah was linked to pet frogs, U.S. health officials said Thursday, suggesting that public-health efforts to educate children about the proper handling of reptiles should be expanded to amphibians.

Now the CDC doesn't say that salmonella is only contracted from frogs by licking them but, I'm guessing that's what's going on. Dumb, addled teenagers will try literally anything if they think it'll give them a buzz for a minute or two, regardless of the likely danger or utter stupidity of the act. Teens trying to get high think stupidly that if licking one species of frog can make you high, then all frogs might have the potential, just as they will eat deadly-poisonous mushrooms of unknown species on the off chance they might get a buzz from it. Here's a SouthPark episode about this very problem....

Mild Language Warning

I don't like spiders and snakes.....

It doesn't get any stupider than people who own snakes or spiders and think of them as pets, as they would a cat or dog....

A 29-year-old British man was referred to an ophthalmologist after suffering for weeks with a red, watery eye that wouldn't respond to treatment with antibiotics.

A close examination of the eye revealed a number of minuscule hairs embedded in his cornea, much to the surprise of both patient and doctor.

After a little probing of his memory, the man recalled he had been cleaning the glass tank that houses his pet tarantula, when the burly arachnid blasted him in the face with a "mist of hairs."

This guy is no less stupid than the people whose children get constricted and eaten by their "pet" python or anaconda. I don't see the pet-appeal of owning reptiles and spiders. They aren't affectionate or loyal or possess any of the adorable qualities we humans love in our pets. They are just waiting for the right opportunity to attack and possibly eat you. Given that, I find little room for sympathy in my heart when people get hurt by these creatures. They were sort of asking for it.

A virtual cookie to the first reader to name the reference in the title of this post....without Googling it.....you cheaters.

That's a trampling

I realize it's their culture, but you have to expect this sort of thing when you try to domesticate wild animals....



Why is anyone shocked when you take an elephant out of the jungle, put giant sandbags on his back, and parade him around in crowded city streets, and he goes crazy? I don't blame him and I wish more people had been trampled than the few that were...idiots!