Obama assumes role of parent to nation's youth

The US Postal Service is having to destroy the entire first run of stamps promoting Michelle Obama's insufferable "Let's Move" campaign. Apparently the Obama's weren't too happy with all the kids on the stamps being white(except the one playing basketball.....hilariously, he looks a tad darker than the rest to me). And as they listed in the press release, at least 5 of the kids are performing activities without the proper safety gear approved by the authorities---soccer without shin guards, skateboarding without elbow and knee pads, baseball without batting helmet, balancing on a slippery rock without helmet, I guess, and doing a cannonball dive.

What protective gear would one wear to do a cannonball? I don't know which pools your kids swim in, but where I grew up, if you got caught wearing protective gear in the pool, your friends would try to drown you  for being a pussy.