Give blood, assholes. It's the least you can do

The LifeSouth phlebotomist told me as she painlessly jabbed me with the needle this morning, that on a normal Tuesday, they get 5-10 donors, but today they have 75 scheduled. That’s good.

If you hoard toilet paper in a crisis all you are is an asshole, but if you CAN give blood and you don’t during a supply crisis, you might be costing somebody their life.

If you haven’t given blood since the Wuhan Virus hit, get out there if you qualify and do your part.

Bring our yer dead

Note to self: the neighbors don't appreciate it when you put on your Renaissance Fair costume and push your wheelbarrow up and down the street at 6:00am, ringing a bell and yelling, "Bring out yer dead. Bring out yer dead".

The Clinton's Epsteined Weinstein

Harvey Weinstein tested positive for Coronavirus in prison. Wow!

By infecting an already infirm 68-year-old man with what is almost certainly a deadly virus to him, the Clintons have effectively "Epsteined" Weinstein.

It's so diabolical I almost respect it. 👍

Joe Biden is feeling left out

Poor old demented Joe Biden keeps raising his hand but nobody's calling on him. The Wuhan Virus has taken all the air out of the room and Joe's attempt to dethrone President Trump has been all but forgotten.

Joe's election team decided to let him start doing a "virtual town hall" from his home. The problem is it's Joe Biden. He's incoherent, doddering, and wanders off-camera in mid-sentence. This is the hardest, cringing 4 minutes of video I've ever watched. Mercifully, they cut the feed so Joe didn't embarrass himself further.

I mean watch this and tall me you can imagine this guy being president. Even after this, his desperate campaign staff will let him start doing daily Coronavirus briefings just like Trump so he can tell the world what he would do instead. Sorry Joe but second-guessing a president from an armchair during a national crisis isn't a good look.

You wonder when the men in white coats and butterfly nets will take him by the arm and say it's time for your pills Joe and maybe a nap.

The strange days of Covid-19

Actual footage of the kid I hired to clean up the poop in my yard, when he learned that I don't have a dog.

via GIPHY

Necessity gives rise to adaptation

Necessity really is the mother of invention....and now adaptation.

When you gotta go, you gotta go

Are soft, flour tortillas flushable? Asking for a friend. 

Coronavirus does not give you the shits

I love that in the age of the Internet nothing is above mockery, ridicule, and scorn. 

Take that, hoarders! 😂

Pandemic or no, the Pope gets his weekly rake

Apparently, Pope Francis is appalled that the church has decided to close its doors during the Coronavirus spread. He commented:

“In these days we are united to the sick and the families suffering from this pandemic. I would also like to pray today for the shepherds who must accompany the people of God in this crisis.”

He then added: "Corona Schmarona, Lord help these shepherds to continue to pass the collection plates so that we may help ourselves, er, I mean, those in need."

I've included this helpful picture of this Sunday's rake from one pew in one Catholic church......not bad. 🙄 

My Friday commentary on the Coronavirus hysteria